Major countries like the USA, India, Russia, and China have the . Warren and Joy agreed and up they went. S | No 2 propeller seepage normal - No 1, No 3, and No 4 propellers lack normal seepage. This is for your comfort and to enhance the appearance of your Flight Attendants, 24. Mother, as you know, I, too, am a captain in the Air Force. I say again, stand down and divert your course. The danger of incident is no jokein 1985, a Japanese 747 airliner lost its tail midflight and plummeted into a mountain, killing 520 in the deadliest aircraft accident involving just one plane . Did You Hear About The Accident at the Army Base? AVIATION HUMOR - Sierra Hotel Aeronautics The gunners very first shot sent the drone into the water! When a Navy fighter pilot saw this, he decided to approach the man and see what he was doing. Fish Food. The fighter jet stops whining once the engines are cut off. We thought we would try to share as many with you as possible. He had noticed that, for the umpteenth time, a recruit kept going to his right on a left command. What do you use on your face to keep it so smooth? I asked. During basic training at Fort Leavenworth, our sergeant asked if anyone had artistic abilities. They sure grow up fast, dont they?. Passenger Cargo that talks or Self-loading freight, 58. When I lost my rifle, the Army charged me $85. 'Never fly in the same cockpit. Military jokes! Now, he said, when I say left, its the one that hurts.. A young customs official watched our entourage in disbelief, "Ma'am" he said, "Do all these children and this luggage belong to you? Funny Aviation Jokes - BEST FUNNY JOKES Sent a recruit to medical-supplies office in search of fallopian tubes Military Jokes March to the beat of your own drum with these military jokes. 28. As for the rest of you, get down and give me 40 for lying!. 100 Hilarious Airplane Jokes That Are Surely to Take Off Unless you're a pilot, an aeronautical engineer, a hang-around traveler, or simply someone who enjoys aviation, airplane jokes are surely right up your alley. Our Teams Favorite Pilot Jokes - AOPA But I am public affairs, I said. Officer: Soldier, do you have change for a dollar? Why doesnt the Army football team have a website? Halt! shouted our drill instructor. When I was a Navy student pilot, I visited the home of a classmate. Do you know where the sensor is located? my coworker asked. 130 Best Aviation Humor ideas | aviation humor, humor, aviation Aviation Humor 129 Pins 1y S Collection by STS Aviation Group Share Similar ideas popular now Humor Funny Military Humor Aviation Fuel Aviation Humor Aviation Technology Airbus Boeing Airline Humor Airline Reservations People Fly Flight Attendant Life LinkedIn Aviation Quotes Officer: Thats no way to address an officer! If at least ONE military joke below doesnt make you giggle, well, wed be concerned. We were marching to the chow hall when we spotted a pathetic-looking recruit standing at attention by a mailbox, a whole book of stamps plastered to his forehead. You seem in a good mood., He replied, Im paying a private to do all my worrying for me.. 1. And )second This class yielded some very famous aircraft, many we still use today. Basic Army training rules goes as follows: If it moves, salute it. Francis Marion, the Swamp Fox, Revolutionized American Warfare. Aeronautical Humor. . Now, they are wanted for dessertion. Sure enough, a few weeks later, I lost my key. Hotel/Car Rental Shuttle Bus Vehicle subject to paranormal effects. When I spotted a Navy captain on the street, I saluted and bellowed, LST 395, which was the designation and number of the ship I served on during World War II. One started by saying, Okay smartass, which one is closer, the moon or Florida? The second responded by saying, Obviously its the moon you cant see Florida!. and some others fell to the ground quickly and did their push-ups. Comedian Martha Raye was a great supporter of the military and made many trips to Vietnam to entertain the troops. I felt confident as I aimed and squeezed the trigger of my carbine for my first During a combat medical training class, the topic was blast injuries. Problems reported by Pilots and Solutions noted by Aircraft Engineers in aircraft Technical Logs. The Army will post guards around the building. Civilian CASUAL TEES are not acceptable. Two Army second lieutenants started debating over certain distances. aviation JOKES (random) Taxiing down the tarmac, the jetliner abruptly stopped, turned around and returned to the gate. They know how to take up space. The pilot tries to pull up, but with all their cargo, the plane is too heavy. Overheard on a flight into Regina, on a particularly windy and bumpy day: During the final approach, the Captain really had to fight to control it. 7. In the event of an emergency water landing, please paddle to shore and take them with our compliments, 23. When I enlisted in my teens, I took up smoking cigars to make myself look more mature. ", The student replied, "When I was number one for takeoff sir", 51. Though I Fly Through the Valley of Death ..I Shall Fear No Evil. I am so happy you are risking your life for the USA! What should have been the day we chose to celebrate World Military Day? The next day, I received a letter addressed to Sgt. Unless you can be Batman. Ive been sandblasted.. We have one or two in here! Spread the humor by leaving a secret written joke on a neighbor's stoop, a colleague's desk, or mail it to your best friend. It was always selling out, and I could never keep it in stock. We know that there are hundreds and hundreds of military jokes out there. 13:30 comes and goes. What happened Sergeant? Finally, exasperated the frog asked, "What is the matter with you? What does ARMY mean to you? She also liked her scotch. Can You Name All 8 United States Uniformed Services? Either way, it is a simple gesture that will be sure to get a grin. What do you call a group of kids who enlists in the military? A military aircraft had gear problems on landing, and as the plane was skidding down the tarmac the tower controller asked if they needed assistance. What has a nose and flies, but can't smell? What do you call a Marines with an IQ of 160? Thanks. Military Aviation - Technology: Where it Started and Where it's Going So he yells to the soldiers in back to throw things out to make the plane lighter. One day, at an event honoring veterans, a young man asked where they had been stationed. 11. Military Jokes Military Humor - Strategypage.com At least SEVEN Cs! Upon the Vietnam war's conclusion a lot of money was invested in creating the next class of aircraft. 49. Well, one time, as I proudly puffed away at our NCO club, an older sergeant growled, Hey, kid, your candy bars on fire.. When the plane was descending for the landing, the Marine put his boots back on and quickly realized the Soldier had been spitting in his boots. Aviation JOKES. What do you call a second lieutenant surrounded by PFCs? USAF Manual It is generally inadvisable to eject over the area you have just bombed, 6. Meanwhile, the sergeant glared at the others. Since this can be an extremely stressful job for the pilots and a boring ordeal for all you lovely passengers, we have carefully compiled this list of funny one-liners about pilots to keep your spirits up. The Marine said Are you crazy? Home; Jokes; Pictures; Videos; GIFs; Runway 37 Comics; Weird Wings; Today I Learned; Quizzes; Jokes. During World War II, my father often found himself stuck with KP duty. Dad always bragged about the gunners on his ship. Why doesnt the Army team have ice on the sidelines during football games? What is a Soldiers least favorite month? So, instead, they put me in the Navy since I was a sub-marine. Some quick-witted comedian in the DC-8 crew got on the radio and said, "What a cute little plane. I thought I was on top of my game that day, Comedian Martha Raye was a great supporter of the military and made many trips to Vietnam to entertain the troops. When our drill instructor demanded an explanation, the man bellowed, This recruit has proved himself worthless and weak and is being mailed home to his mother!. (Sign over the entrance to the old SR-71 operating base Kadena, Japan). But before I could get out, he pointed to the other end of the building and said, The band entrance is that way. Gordon Van Otteren. This poor old fool, thought the Navy officer, so he invited the old man inside to buy him a drink. One is a SEAL, and the other is an otter! Had a new guy conduct a boom test on a howitzer by yelling Boom! down the tube in order to calibrate it Where is your foxhole, Lieutenant? I asked. Katees passion for writing and fascination for language has forever guided her path in life. Unfortunately for him, our lecturer caught him. One stated they would love to work on a submarine. Jokes about crayon eaters and narcissistic Air Force personnel will never get old, though. (Hang up. Soldier: Sure, buddy. (Hang up. 46. One day, convinced he could improve things, he told the head cook, If you give me a My granddaughter's husband was complaining about how spellcheck changes the meaning of e-mails when an Air Force officer told him this story: Hed sent a message to 300 of his personnel addressed to Dear Sirs and Maams. It was received as Dear Sirs and Mamas. Phyllis Howard. Here are some favorites from rallypoint.com: Instructed a private in the mess hall to look for left-handed spatulas My 90-year-old dad was giving a talk at our local library about his World War II experiences. Did you hear about the big accident on base? I will take the both of you for a ride. Why, certainly, young man, he said, as he reached under his desk and handed me a large pair of bolt cutters. The tenant shook her head. Soldier: No, SIR!. A student became lost during a solo cross-country flight. As I left the barbershop with sideburns in hand, I heard him ask his next victim, Where are you from? Why didnt the troop tell anyone about their rank in the military? I am the PMC at a Dinner Night next week, where apart from my Boss and myself the rest of the guests are Army (from an array of cap badges). It took the poor guy all day. St. But my fears were put Our bases Army Exchange Service carried a particular brand of underarm deodorant that I liked and bought for years. One night, he returned to the dorm in his perfectly pressed uniform, his newly acquired name tag in his hand. Im throwing up just as far as the rest of these guys.. What are you doing? I asked. The B-52 continued its flight, straight and level. Not to mention, when spending many hours deployed and away from home, telling jokes and connecting through humor is the best way to avoid the difficulty of real life. The hotshot said over the air, "Anything you can do, I can do better". I was in the bathroom brushing my teeth when my squad leader barged in. Why Do We Celebrate It? My friend stopped, turned around, and glared at the airman. You had tents?, A drill sergeant yells at his young trainee, I didnt see you at camouflage training this morning, private!, The private replies, Well, thank you very much, sir., A general gets stuck in his Jeep on the side of the road. Countdown to Iditarod 2023: Tributes, jokes and celebrations as mushers If air traffic controllers screw up, pilots also die. What do you call a training sergeant whos very kind and respectful? She's been working as a writer, editor, QA specialist, and SEO professional for more than four years. Dad always bragged about the gunners on his ship. Tower "Eastern 702, cleared for takeoff, contact Departure on 124.7", Eastern 702 "Tower, Eastern 702 switching to Departure by the way, after we lifted off, we saw some kind of dead animal on the far end of the runway", Tower "Continental 635, cleared for takeoff, contact Departure on 124.7; did you copy the report from Eastern? [Answered]. If not able, take the Guadeloupe exit off of Highway 101 and make a right at the lights to return to the airport, 52. And, once the tire smoke has cleared and the warning bells are silenced, we will open the door and you can pick your way through the wreckage to the terminal, 22. When the general asked, Which outfit are you in? the Marine replied, Dress blues, sir, with medals!. ", The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it on the ground, took off her clothing and said, "Take what you want", The second engineer nodded approvingly and said, "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fit you anyway". Rather than move, he called the bridge: Hey, he said, can you shift the ship 15 degrees? They all originally set out to become Marines. Pre-flight briefing from Canadian Air Force Pilot If you hear me yell Eject, Eject, Eject, the last two will be echoes. SUB sandwiches! A pilot is a confused soul who talks about women when he is flying, and about flying when he is with a woman. Get up! Checking to see that he had everyones attention, he asked, What is the first rule?, Much to the amusement of the other instructors, 60 privates yelled in unison, Shut up, Drill Sergeant!, Army Says: HOOOOOAH! While waiting every one will come by multiple times except yours, 62. 2. I was working in Army security when a VIP from another base called to ask to whom he should address an important letter. Anytime someone asked what his father did, hed say, Hes in the Army. I told him umpteen times, Stop telling people Im in the Army! It finally seemed to hit home because on the admittance form for kindergarten, under fathers profession, the teacher wrote, He doesnt know what his father does, but hes not in the Army.. My friend has a really toxic relationship with Navy vessels. Welcome aboard Flight 245 to Calgary. ", 55. Laugh or cringe but please enjoy. A military pilot requested a priority landing, because his single-engine jet fighter was running "a bit peaked". Please remain in your seats with your seat belts fastened while the Captain taxis what's left of our airplane to the gate, 18. He holds the bulb and then the world revolves around him to screw it in. But other times, we also want some good clean humor with no chance of ruffling feathers. Basically, if you click on a product link on this site and buy that product we get a small commission at no extra cost to you. S | Reprogrammed Target Radar with the words. Me: Still the wrong number. It was our first day on the rifle range at Lackland Air Force Base. On-time Arrival Obscure term meaning unknown, 63. It was World War IIthe frontand we were on high alert. Scan the list below to find some hilarious military one-liners that will make your Navy friend laugh like crazy. ", Warren always replied, "I know Joy, but that helicopter ride is fifty quid, and fifty quid is fifty quid", One year Warren and Joy went to the Show, and Joy said, "Warren, I'm 85 years old. The c.i.a. Discussion Board on this Military Joke. Why won't you kiss me? Climbing out of the wreckage, Brian asked Tommy, Any idea where we are?, I think were pretty close to where we crashed last year Brian, 5. A tank ran over a bag of popcorn and apparently, two kernels were killed! The U.S. Navy uses the stars to navigate. When a soldier came to the clinic where I work for an MRI, he was put into the machine by an attractive, young technician. Discover the best military jokes with this expansive list that covers some old ones and some new ones to brighten your smile. From the plane came a laconic southern voice: . Killed bin Laden. Its a NO FLY zone! Military jokes - Pinterest Since my father had served in the Philippines during the war, I chose him. 5) The Franco-Prussian War ended in a stalemate and had to be settled by a winner-take-all game of backgammon played by the two countries prime ministers. During that first roll call in the Army, I waited in dread as the sergeant got to my name: DiFeliciantonio. The irate sergeant scrambled back up amid guffaws and barked, Those who laughed, get down and give me 20! A.J. U.S. Navy Warship: This is the captain of a U.S. Navy ship. Please speak after the tone or, if you require more options, listen to the following numbers: A. I admit itI have a tendency to exaggerate, and I was afraid when I joined the Navy that my creativity might get me in trouble. Pizza de Resistance During KP duty, my sergeant ordered me to prepare 100 gallons of soup for that nights dinner. Economy Class Conditions under which transportation of animals would constitute a criminal offence, 57. What do you call a deer thats enlisted in the Air Force? Decodes 7. The Best Aviation Jokes - Ridge Landing Airpark When the Marine finishes up, he starts to head for the door. Anyone wanting to take pictures on our bases airfield needs a letter from public affairs, which happens to be me. Airman: The worst was when the air conditioner in our tent broke and it was 110 outside! Rather than fire a shot, I shouted out the first half My father was serving in a port city in postWorld War II Germany when a ship laden with GIs docked. Whats the main mission of the Marine Corps? Stay out of clouds. Do you want to hear about my plane?. Fighter Training Manual Airspeed, Altitude, and Brains Two are always needed to successfully complete a flight, 7. He finally comes dragging in at. Knowing my tough-to-spell last name would give him fits, I said, Just put down Sergeant Gary, as my last name is too hard. Dear Soldier, If youre having a rough day, remember the most important thing in life is to be yourself. Home Blog 14 Funniest Military Jokes Ever (2022 Edition). Dont think so? Caller: Is Sgt. Not long after, I had a large kettle of soup simmering. We know that there are hundreds and hundreds of military jokes out there. We were inspecting several lots of grenades. I thought you had to be in relatively good shape to join the Marines.. My grandpa Bob was in the Navy. Large mahogany desk.. 39. Collective Military Hardships One day an airman, an Army soldier, and a Marine were talking about the hardships they faced during their last deployment. 8.3.4 Modern aviation history. Two hunters got a pilot to fly them to Canada to hunt moose. You know you cant outrun a bear, right?, The soldier said, The way I see it, I just have to outrun you.. But my fears were put to rest one day while getting into formation, which was determined by height. As the soldiers disembarked, they started to jeer and boo. However, even with full power, the little plane could not handle the load and went down a few moments after take-off. Are you near any landmarks that might help us locate you? the base operator asked him. Gary Toohard. You might be a Coastie if a cruise does not sound like a vacation to you. Your seat cushions can be used for flotation. Why did the Soldier bring a blanket to an active battle zone? Ramrod straight, each would respond, Marine Air Group 36, sir or Second Marine Division, General. Then there was one young private. When a soldier came to the clinic where I work for an MRI, he was put into the machine by an attractive, young technician. His son had clearly focussed more on dividing rather than conquering. 2) American combat dolphins, deployed in the Persian Gulf, surrounded and captured an Iranian battleship. Its important that soldiers learn from their mistakes; otherwise, theyre bound to repeat them at inopportune moments. Do not attempt to shave with fire. You can see why: They cant seem to string three Ws together. An officer calls a young Soldier to attention, scolding him for not attending camouflage training that morning. Now, I was shy of six feet tall, but when our drill sergeant called for all six-footers to line up, I stepped forward anyway. Military Jokes and Humor stories have always amused and entertained. The Soldier agreed, and when the Marine went to get his drink he started spitting in the Marines boots. and his platoon of recruits were marching, their sergeant slipped and tumbled down a ravine. What Do You Call a Soldier Who Survived Mustard Gas and Pepper Spray? When I enlisted in my teens, I took up smoking cigars to make myself look more mature. I served in Japan, said Uncle Sid. Anecdotes 2. An Army Drill Sergeant took some recruits the the mess hall. What did the Navy dentist put on his license plate? Soldier: WTF, you had air conditioners? 'I could see the bones in my hands.' F-84 pilot tells the story of when Max Stanley (Test Pilot) The Piper Cub is the safest airplane in the world It can just barely kill you, 31. It was World War IIthe frontand we were on high alert. 4) At the real-life Topgun programthe one the film was based onthere is a $5 fine for any staffer who references or quotes the movie. A Soldier and a Marine were sitting next to each other on a plane. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and not say a word, I will not charge you. Did it work? Why does the military only allow dress shirts during ceremonies and events? The Scouts at least have adult supervision. Related read: 11 of the Best Veteran Memes That Perfectly Sum Up Veteran Humor. Even his son turned up. Next time I send a damn fool, I go myself., My high school assignment was to ask a veteran about World War II. R-i-i-ing!) I served in Korea, said Uncle Jerry. One of the reasons the Air Force, Army, Navy, and Marines bicker so much is because they dont speak the same language. Caller: OK. My gunnery sergeant and I were inspecting a Marine training exercise when we spotted a second lieutenant ambling about. In large gold letters was printed: TRASH. As they started loading the plane for the return trip, the pilot said the plane could take only four moose. Awesome page, I came out of the US Army in 92. However, a great landing is one where you can use the airplane again afterwards. Some are jokes that only the U.S. Air Force can understand while others are jokes made about those who are USAF members. I would stay behind and neatly print each soldiers name onto his Army-issued underwear. 11 of the Best Veteran Memes That Perfectly Sum Up Veteran Humor. No, we dont, she said. He is the Founder and . To begin with, the U.S. in early 2022 had 38,500 troops stationed on German soil almost 40% of the total number it deploys in all of Europe.
