They expand your mind, making you think about all the things they could do. consisting of 1,288 words and who knows how many different kinds of clauses. And I congratulate any reader who has gotten this far. I suppose that is the bane of all authors. Or possibly a really good president who wanted to fly to the moon. THe cake was good. The only difference is the taste, which I enjoy, since it is new and different. When William Faulkner Set the World Record for Writing the Longest 4 min ago I mean, I've been doing this much, much longer than the other person. That will be a wonderous day. Next to the Really Big Button, of course. RISE UP AND BARE YOUR BISCUIT FILTY FANGS AT THE LEASH WIELDING DEMON!! Wouldn't pure water TASTE pure, and impure water TASTE impure? Either way, Kodak is undeniably evil. Are you surprised? All because YOU tried to convince me that I was crazy. I, being weird, am pretty much immune to such expectations. After much deliberation, she decided that she wouldn't eat. If you have some extra time, you can read it at marienbadmylove.com. Introduction In the business world, communication by e-mail is indispensable. Longest math problem copy and paste - Math Index That my words somehow travel accross time (if only a few minutes) and are somehow picked up by future you, and that my responses are dictated by future you's reactions. Why, you ask? Yeah. responsible for any faulty wiring or lack thereof in your computer. Did you know that statistics prove that 45% of all statistics are completly made up by me (The Patron Saint of Paperclips)? Imagine a number line that points in the positive and negative direction. During the weekdays, I get about seven hours of sleep (usually less) and wake up at 6:11 a.m. Yep. Too Bad! Subscribe!function(m,a,i,l,s,t,e,r){m[s]=m[s]||(function(){t=a.createElement(i);r=a.getElementsByTagName(i)[0];t.async=1;t.src=l;r.parentNode.insertBefore(t,r);return !0}())}(window,document,'script','https://www.openculture.com/wp-content/plugins/mailster/assets/js/button.min.js','MailsterSubscribe'); 2006-2023 Open Culture, LLC. I think. Kodak, as you may know, is a film developing company. They are the samething, with the same look, and almost same name. 12 Dec 2012. We can all wear spiffy space-suits and feel all superiour to all those stupid earthlings. If you'll look toward the bottom of this page, you'll notice that I added a nifty little thing called the "babel fish". Just exactly like Father if Father had known as much about it the night before I went out there as he did the day after I came back thinking Mad impotent old man who realized at last that there must be some limit even to the capabilities of a demon for doing harm, who must have seen his situation as that of the show girl, the pony, who realizes that the principal tune she prances to comes not from horn and fiddle and drum but from a clock and calendar, must have seen himself as the old wornout cannon which realizes that it can deliver just one more fierce shot and crumble to dust in its own furious blast and recoil, who looked about upon the scene which was still within his scope and compass and saw son gone, vanished, more insuperable to him now than if the son were dead since now (if the son still lived) his name would be different and those to call him by it strangers and whatever dragons outcropping of Sutpen blood the son might sow on the body of whatever strange woman would therefore carry on the tradition, accomplish the hereditary evil and harm under another name and upon and among people who will never have heard the right one; daughter doomed to spinsterhood who had chosen spinsterhood already before there was anyone named Charles Bon since the aunt who came to succor her in bereavement and sorrow found neither but instead that calm absolutely impenetrable face between a homespun dress and sunbonnet seen before a closed door and again in a cloudy swirl of chickens while Jones was building the coffin and which she wore during the next year while the aunt lived there and the three women wove their own garments and raised their own food and cut the wood they cooked it with (excusing what help they had from Jones who lived with his granddaughter in the abandoned fishing camp with its collapsing roof and rotting porch against which the rusty scythe which Sutpen was to lend him, make him borrow to cut away the weeds from the door-and at last forced him to use though not to cut weeds, at least not vegetable weeds -would lean for two years) and wore still after the aunts indignation had swept her back to town to live on stolen garden truck and out o f anonymous baskets left on her front steps at night, the three of them, the two daughters negro and white and the aunt twelve miles away watching from her distance as the two daughters watched from theirs the old demon, the ancient varicose and despairing Faustus fling his final main now with the Creditors hand already on his shoulder, running his little country store now for his bread and meat, haggling tediously over nickels and dimes with rapacious and poverty-stricken whites and negroes, who at one time could have galloped for ten miles in any direction without crossing his own boundary, using out of his meagre stock the cheap ribbons and beads and the stale violently-colored candy with which even an old man can seduce a fifteen-year-old country girl, to ruin the granddaughter o f his partner, this Jones-this gangling malaria-ridden white man whom he had given permission fourteen years ago to squat in the abandoned fishing camp with the year-old grandchild-Jones, partner porter and clerk who at the demons command removed with his own hand (and maybe delivered too) from the showcase the candy beads and ribbons, measured the very cloth from which Judith (who had not been bereaved and did not mourn) helped the granddaughter to fashion a dress to walk past the lounging men in, the side-looking and the tongues, until her increasing belly taught her embarrassment-or perhaps fear;-Jones who before 61 had not even been allowed to approach the front of the house and who during the next four years got no nearer than the kitchen door and that only when he brought the game and fish and vegetables on which the seducer-to-bes wife and daughter (and Clytie too, the one remaining servant, negro, the one who would forbid him to pass the kitchen door with what he brought) depended on to keep life in them, but who now entered the house itself on the (quite frequent now) afternoons when the demon would suddenly curse the store empty of customers and lock the door and repair to the rear and in the same tone in which he used to address his orderly or even his house servants when he had them (and in which he doubtless ordered Jones to fetch from the showcase the ribbons and beads and candy) direct Jones to fetch the jug, the two of them (and Jones even sitting now who in the old days, the old dead Sunday afternoons of monotonous peace which they spent beneath the scuppernong arbor in the back yard, the demon lying in the hammock while Jones squatted against a post, rising from time to time to pour for the demon from the demijohn and the bucket of spring water which he had fetched from the spring more than a mile away then squatting again, chortling and chuckling and saying `Sho, Mister Tawm each time the demon paused)-the two of them drinking turn and turn about from the jug and the demon not lying down now nor even sitting but reaching after the third or second drink that old mans state of impotent and furious undefeat in which he would rise, swaying and plunging and shouting for his horse and pistols to ride single-handed into Washington and shoot Lincoln (a year or so too late here) and Sherman both, shouting, Kill them! Today my frazzled-brain produced something that is decidedly Jenny (that's my more or less "real" name). I don't want to play the stupid animal war card game 'cause the stupdi bear gets eaten by an eaagle.. goodbye ssslllee0yyyyslllllllleeeeeeeepppppppppppppyyyyyyyyyyy iiiiiiiiissssssssssssss gggggggggoooooooooooooddddddddddddd. As you can see, I was in a very interesting state of mind. It is the extraordinary sensory quality of his prose that enabled Faulkner to get away with writing the longest sentence in literature, at least according to the 1983 Guinness Book of World Records, a passage from Absalom, Absalom! and eat dinner. . I think. become not entertained, the Patron Saint of Paper Clips will be forced to take drastic measures. Yes. People need to make the time to waste time. Oh, but I did remember what else I wanted to say to you people. That sounds good, too. Or, would that be good? 100% of something. If that's not a vast conspiracy, then nothing on this Earth is. 11. I sincerely appologize if anyone is offended by my view of memorization. But this proof degrades this mysterious, mystical and mystifying "quality" of my words. He once said, It was Faulkner at his most involuted and incantatory who most enchanted me. The current record holder for the longest english sentence is Jonathan Coe for his staggering 33-page, 13,955-word sentence in The Rotters Club, 2001. Even more incredible, this time it's someone I don't even know! You're still here, which must mean that you'd rather be here than anywhere else! It's the same concept. Sure, certain members of my family do pay WAY to much attention to fasion, but that's just because of the expectations of society. This is the LONGEST TEXT EVER! All along, my entire family has scoffed (nifty word, isn't it?) Like a muffin. For all you know you could be staring at that freaky 3-D maze screen saver with a blank look on your face while you THINK you're reading an inhumanly long text. i wandered around for 20 minutes looking for a cell phone. I'm like the little engine that could. Or maybe I'll go make a frozen pizza. And not so pissed at my weird family. OR something. Then, just wait for technology to "catch-up" (get it, catch-up, Ketchup? I can clone myself and form and angry mob? Today, I met her arch-enemy. "[4], Last edited on 15 February 2023, at 20:26, An Accommodating Advertisement and an Awkward Accident, "Toward a Connectionist Model of Recursion in Human Linguistic Performance", Quartz: "One of this years Booker Prize nominees is just a 1,000-page-long sentence" 26 July, 2019, "For Passover, wacky Haggadahs feature zombies, Mrs. Maisel, President Trump, more", "This Book Is the Longest Sentence Ever Written and Then Published", "Review: This Book Is The Longest Sentence Ever Written And Then Published by Dave Cowen", https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Longest_English_sentence&oldid=1139572984, This page was last edited on 15 February 2023, at 20:26. **** MY NAVEL ITCHES!! No. I'm back again. (There's probably drugs in it). What I want to know is this: are there no intelectual property rights in the world of food products? (Next Commercial) Get ready fo: Faux's new "reality" TV show, "How Low Can We Go?" He took the TAB member quiz and turned out to be me, he took the JOB quiz, and was a repo man (which had a pic of my brother) He said he wanted to see what I was doing, and to make sure that I wasn't saying anything derrogatory about my parents. Oh, by the way, I was paid a decent compliment today. Goodbye! The moment Neo woke from dreams of Trinity's death, he made a choice. I don't think. And mildly weirded-out. Her first guess was enslaved africans. Stay tuned to hear my thoughts on tanning, and an evil card game, and who knows what elseOkay I'm back. I felt more fufilled when this site was a barren wastland of useless space. You expect far to much of the inanimate world. How can you pass up this revolutionary new product? Stock up now with our Valu-Pak to recieve 3-metric tons of Ketchup, all for the low, low price of your brain, since you're obviously not using it anyway. This naturally alarmed the HECK out of me! Grapes are used to make jelly, jam, juice and raisins. It's been awhile, (at least two weeks) since I've written here. The following is an extremely weird poem-thingy that I wrote when I was in a relatively weird mood: never mind that noise my dear can anyone pass the cheese only if you say pretty please oh, boy do I have to sneeze. Makes you think that the long held belief that Kodak conspired with the JFK assasin(s) is normal. *sigh* *sniffle* *snort* *insert word that is a sound that begins with an "s" here* I don't have much time, so, I must be brief. The title contains the longest word. The Longest Sentence Contains the Longest Word - PRWeb I ended up writing things during the time of night when EVERYTHING is hilarious, including the word sheep. Okay, back to the flaming-chickens LTE rivalry. Why, because they assume it's better quality. HA! Can a senile person write? And really angry, and confused. Now sure, I could have won more than 500 at some game in which you don't have to pay to play. *there's that darn cricket again* And I have a genuine question to ask all of my loyal readers *cough-cough* Okay, here it is: Is it normal for a non-gender specific sibling to carry around various dead reptiles (snakes, turtles, lizards etc.) You must be caught in a time warp. Perhaps you don't have time to waste e-mailing me. (Like alternate dimensions and stuff) So, there is a world where you are the creator of this Longest Text Ever. I can't believe I'm bothering to do this. So, fellow conspiracy nuts: Take down the evil governmental safety device and take it apart. I only signed up for a semester. Which is why I still go to the Really Really Big Button That Doesn't Do Anything website. It's just sickening, you can't even take a simple photo nowadays. And what did he do to me? Perhaps a nice, soothing mistrust. I'm pretty sure that the "smelly yellow ball" that he started throwing was his own feces (poo). Oooooo! TWO MILES? my dear theres nothing to fear thats only a box thats made of blocks next to the wagon that looks like a dragon why are you shaking its your fear that is making you shiver and act all a quiver. And I asked myself "How could I have better spent my time?" Yeah, this doesn't mean anything to you. The single greatest invention of the computer gods. HUH? Im gonna start quoting from the Flaming Chicken Handbook! I just don't know. Then, she accidently woke our three yappy dogs up, and they relized that they were in a car. HmmI seem to be jumping from one subject to another more frequently. Pastebin . So I at least have an excuse for not doing that. Don't worry, I'll go to bed soon. Or he can try to save Trinity and doom mankind. I hadn't had a genuine sugar rush since I was 11. For all you, the uninformed consumer, could know, it might have rat poison in it. Most people actually like to spend long periods of time exposing their vulnerable skin to the harmful rays of the sun. Anyway, seeya! I'm going, you're on you're own! He goes for Trinity, makes it just in time to catch her body, and starts her heart back up. There's even a money back guarantee. Lots of people spoke. I won't be able to feed my various imaginary pets and friends their beloved imaginary food! I don't think I have any conspiracy theoriesexcept pop-ups/pop-unders. I feel inspired and happy and other really good emotions and stuff. MOOOO! I have very low expectations of my site. Because I am easily amused and have lots and lots of time on my hands. No? The future is determined by the triangles, in a startling blue color which spin around in a zany manner. I know a topic! Girls began wearing skimpier, and skimpier bathing suits. Enjoy! HOW ARE YOU DOING? And ever loony in America decided that it was a conspiracy. Needless to say, I felt right at home. At least her's makes sensesort of. Far away. It sets a perfect example for you young, impressionable minds. Anyway, I'm gonna go. Oh, well. It would be a sin against humanity for a better site to exist. I want an elective. WowI really must be bored. Otherwise, why on earth (beta, krpto, zkdjf, Planet X, whatever) would you be here? World's largest sentence - Copypasta G. (f(t)) d(t) = - Here is the same long equation with a single equation number. For the love of Story. Oh. Then, in an inspired move, my brother talked my mother into letting him sit up front. A post shared by Worlds Best Story (@worldsbeststory). I needs the duct tape! The notag. The actually think that their skin's efforts to protect them are ATTRACTIVE. Wait, no it isn't, I still have to keep going, and going, and going. According to someone you problem don't know, this is the second most pointless website ever! Boy, are you mythical, mystical readers in for a treat, today! Hey, by the way. Think about it. My mom said that she didn't care. Oh, and don't forget to celebrate Mad Hatter Day on October the 6th. I rule the Internet! For the benefit of you, the readerwho may or may not exist. What is the alternative, you ask? Woooo! In the beginning of the movie, Neo is having dreams about Trinity's death. As we all know, the world is going to end in about 380,695 days! You complete me in all ways. Read that onetime longest sentence in literature, all 1,288 words of it, below. He would do everything in his power to keep his dream from becoming reality. How did they ever afford an organ-thingy? If (and this is a big if) the world DOES survive, we can beg them for food, oxygen and other supplies. | 14.35 KB, We use cookies for various purposes including analytics. Yep that's right. And I promise not to force you to live when you would rather die. Which would be boring. i hate dress shoes. You don't know who Squirell is? Because that would be impossible. You're still here. An enemy so terrifying that Moose cannot stop shaking. As a member, you'll join us in our effort to support the arts. Towards the end of the movie, Neo chooses to tell Trinity to stay out of the Matrix, since he saw her die in it. 8 min ago They could do anything they wanted to, if they just put their minds to it. And I wonder where my little sister gets her annoyingness. My family also strongly suspects that she stole $20 from the donation thingy. She answered: England, Russia, and (out of sheer desperation) Iraq. The smoke detector either never went off, or went off and the people just slept through it. I think it's pretty funny. Wooooooo! Doesn't that make you feel better? I sure hope other zoos won't copy them. Then, when I win 500 additional np, I move to the 500np point. Gotta go, must lure innocent victems to the second most pointless site ever!!!! I have checked the email from {name of the person} and will contact you. AhhhI see your confusion! Here are 65 examples of long sentences ranging from the relatively brief 96 words to one of the longest sentences at 2,156 words. Yeaha topic would be good. So she decided on a salad, only to discover that they didn't have her favorite salad dressing. *normal voice* Today I have a very important to discuss with you in this: PERFECTLY NORMAL PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCMENT. I know where you are right now! they liked landing on me. The sentence below was found in a legal contract, and was until recently the longest sentence we had seen in an official document. Pythagoras Theorem is a + b = c. If there are an infinte number of worlds with human life, than there are an infinte number of worlds that have someone exactly like you, with only a few key differences. Or whatever. EVIIIIIIIIIIIIL!!!!!! Since I'm not particualarly inspired at the moment, I should leave and let you gather what is left of your sanity. ", and translated it to German. Okay. *sigh* There are no topics anywhere near me. Because nature supposidly abhors a paradox. Which is exactly what it gets. It just seems extremly weird (and worthy of mentioning) that this semi-important guy from Kansas believes in a "vast breakfast food conspiracy". Think about that old saying about "If you gave an infinite number of monkeys an infinite number of typewriters, eventually they would reproduce the entire works of Shakespear". Yep. We were supposed to write about a cherished child-hood toy, and attempt to turn our fond memories into a commercial. Yes, I am. Even though air is light, that much air adds up. I have readers. Makes you wonder about "reality" television, huh? There is a world where you are a faerie. I confirmed that the Union was Northern and Free, and that the Confederacy was Southern and Slave. But, the wings were'nt really special. Should you violate the purpose of this site: i.e. However, Joyce's record has recently been surpassed. If you're asleep, the fire will wake you. We become indebted to. I know. Oh, and I would like to mention to my *snicker* LOYAL fans that this Longest Text Ever DOES get updated at least once a week, so please, please, please, PLEASE do not read this once, in one sitting and then leave forever, and ever and ever! You would be correct in your suspiciousnessfor Mooses arch-enemy is*dramatic drumroll*a small, white, feather. Ooooo! Purposly damaging the skin so you can look "attractive". How did you do that. Yea*waits for applause* okay! She immediatly replied "Clara Barton". "Someone thinks that someone thinks that someone thinks that someone thinks that,"[1] or by combining shorter clauses. Maybe, some day far in the future (like next Thursday) I'll print a copy of this insane text. THAT IS ALL. Who am I kidding. 46 min ago This annoyed my mother further, untill she asked, no, demanded that my father turn the car around so that we could go home. I should be asleep. I know, you were just crushed that nothing new was happening. This is because she memorizes the questions. At the same time, how can you prove something IS infinite? I SENSE YOUR ENVY OF MY NECK!! I'm back. After a horrific chain of events (is it coincidence, or fate) the people who will deactivate the secondary power source of the building Neo is infiltrating, die. Today, in my (Honors) English class, we did group work. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. My little, eviler sister got her ears pierced when she was relativly younger. It just sounded very professional to say it. Who would have thought I have this much free time? To support Open Cultures educational mission, please consider, When William Faulkner Set the World Record for Writing the Longest Sentence in Literature: Read the 1,288-Word Sentence from, 100+ Online Degree & Mini-Degree Programs. When you look at them they are identical to the evil little Cheez-Its. The best way to be brief is to quit now. Unless you're bored. You cannot follow the vast, mind-boggling logic that is ME! If you're awake to hear it, chances are that you've already noticed the smoke, fire and eminent danger. Code: 343 of the Flaming Chicken Handbook states that the Patron Saint of Paper Clips (thats me) is allowed to cause vague, pain like sensations while the offending person (or alien life form, dog, etc.) Today I will be mercifully brief. So rather than battle her over the concept of getting dressed in the dark, I get up. Her enemy is a fake Yorkshire Terrior (same species as her) made entirely out of goat hair. Think about it. Said order will in no way be held responsible for any damages, injuries, loss of life, limb, head, or organs. It's not fair! Mark Virtue's Sentence Reading requires perseverance, but once you get into the flow, its like dipping into Faulkners stream of consciousness. Which is bad. Some are answers to e-mails, the rest are just stuff I wrote. I WANT to write. WaitI really don't even know if anyone bothers to read this. In a recent article, humorist Dave Barry discussed the addictive quality of the snack food, Cheez-Its. The food trucks could even play music that made you hungry for their food. How did Faulkner pull it off? is a question many a fledgling writer has asked themselves while struggling through a period of apprenticeship like that novelist John Barth describes in his 1999 talk My Faulkner. Barthreorchestrated his literary heroes, he says, in search of my writerly selfdownloading my innumerable predecessors as only an insatiable green apprentice can. Surely a great many writers can relate when Barth says, it was Faulkner at his most involuted and incantatory who most enchanted me. For many a writer, the Faulknerian sentence is an irresistible labyrinth. (Think of the fake-looking Star Trek aliens). I even came up with a mathematical explanation for why gambling is fun (while I was eating a hyper-speed dinner, thinking nothing of getting back to the slot machine). My point is that smoke detectors have very little value in home security. And I hava a very, almost special rant for you. I will try to make the longest web page ever, made completely out of text! Even though it gains pleasure from squishing my spine. Remember, e-mail psopc@flaming-chickens.com the much needed suppliesif that is possible. Below is an example of a reply email stating that you have received the email. Or maybe you're just skimming. We thank you! Neo is told that he has two choices. Our "spray" kills over 99.9% of "faeries" (which are much to small to see) Our "spray" also kills most disease causing agents, like rats, or pigeons. 44 min ago This confirmed my suspicion that she only went so that she could have the use of the church's playground equipment. The current record holder for the longest english sentence is Jonathan Coe for his staggering 33-page, 13,955-word sentence in The Rotter's Club, 2001. Now, you must realize that I have described only one aspect of this movie of all movies. WOOF! Longest Sentence. Even if I put it in a less chaotic, more user-friendly format people would still ignore this because it involves: reading. You don't know either? It can be very confusing, especially if you weren't paying attention in the first place. Before you know it, we'll have orange alligators, pink tigers and blue lions. Seeyahmmm..I wonder if there's subliminal stuff in my computerI'm back. OH, DON'T YOU SEE THE TOENAILS?!! Hmmmmintersting. Yes. I swear. And I feel that it's time for a FAKE commercial break, for the highly informed, obviously brain-dead consumer. . It's okay. If you can sleep through a raging fire, close enough to set off the smoke detector, then you are definitly going to sleep through the smoke detector. Look how long this has gotten. What if, eventually, Earth's gravity get's very very strong, and we all imploud from the squishyness? Our mind's cannot conceive of the vastness of infinity. Had this been an actual emergency, we would have bought up all the can openers and charged 3 cows and a pig for each one. One day the chief sent his servants everywhere to find a good story-teller. Because eventually, I'll be back! Number One: I could have cured cancer. That's how I knew it's name, picture and what it did. More recently, I was trying to instill a sense of empathy and niceness in her. Unless someone does something, Neo, Morpheus and many others will die. Apparantly Grape Pie isn't mainstream, but it has existed for some time. Oh, and when my sister had to go to the bathroom very badly during a traffic jam, my mother had the good taste to making hissing/water noises to make my sister's problem worse. It'd be cool. If I were to suddenly convert this entrie site into a *shudders* Backstreet Boys fan site or something, you wouldn't be any more suprised than I would be if my brother woke up one day and suddenly realized that he's shallow. Most book lovers would agree that coming across a very long sentence in a novel can sometimes require multiple reads to comprehend. After all, I'm talking to you, aren't I? longest text ever (most deleted bc max 40000 letters) - reddit Were hoping to rely on our loyal readers rather than erratic ads. And more than slightly embarassed. CEASE YOUR FLATULENT WINDS AND HEAR MY MIND NUMBING EXPULSIONS OF WICKED NOISE! I don't think there actually are any. But, it ended up making more sense than I anticipated (scary thought, huh). Maybe. We think. We made a guild, and I wrote out the transcripts of the first ever Asparagus War in narrative form (mock epic, very cheesey) Since it's very, very long, I'll post it here to meet my imaginary word quota for the day! That was sort of a topic, even though it was sort of random. If the facts beg to differ, than the facts are wrong. Sometimes I crack myself up. Men, of course, had no complaints. #1You can say or do anything and normal people will agree with you in the hopes that you'll be satisfied, shut up, and go away. Define three functions: the first function to extract all the sentences, the second to determine the longest sentence, and the third to determine the average sentence length. She'll shake and run from it, then suddenly dive and bite it's head. It tells me stuff like: "Warning: More Solutions May Exist" and "Questionable Accuracy". Geee.that is comforting. After all, I'm not in this line of buisness for the fame, fortune and power. A good one. 10 Longest Known Sentences in English - Largest.org Which I suppose may be a good thing, seeing as how I'm currently in a Longest Text Ever Rivalry with Galaxy Dreamer's site.
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